What is Attachment Repatterning?

What is Attachment Repatterning?

As our brains can lay down new patterns of behaviour, we change the existing attachment pattern of thoughts, feelings, and behavior that has existed since childhood. In order to do this, we have to enter a conscious process that begins with understanding our personality type, our needs and our attachment patterns. In addition, we need to be in a relationship with another person with which we have a secure bond, to create the new pattern. It cannot be done in a vacuum or as an intellectual exercise.

Patterns of behavior are formed during childhood through our interactions with other people. This gives form to our brain’s neural pathways, including those that are genetically programmed. Recent studies on the brain and development illustrate that the brain responds to only one primary person at birth and that the bond with this primary person sets the stage for relationships throughout life. This is called the Pattern of Attachment and it is based on both on nature – the genetic makeup of the personality and predominant need – and nurture – the relationship with the primary caretaker during the formative years of childhood.

The bond that you had with your primary caregiver profoundly shaped your unformed brain as the relationship pattern was still waiting to be defined. It lays the groundwork for relationships based on how secure the bond is; the nature of what is communicated across the bond; and successful ability to get needs met in a time sensitive fashion. This pattern continues to develop throughout childhood and into early adulthood. Communication and engagement with others plays a dominant role in shaping and reshaping the structure and function of the brain, and in determining personal and interpersonal responses and behavior.

Attachment Repatterning is a process undertaken to develop new patterns of functioning in relationships. Most people undertake this process because they are unable to create the type of relationship that brings them happiness despite their best efforts. Dysfunctional bonding and failure to develop secure patterns of attachment leave people with the inability to feel safe; develop meaningful connections with others; deal with stress and adversity; recover from disappointment and loss; live life with a sense of purpose and curiosity.

As our brains can lay down new patterns of behaviour, we change the existing attachment pattern of thoughts, feelings, and behavior that has existed since childhood. In order to do this, we have to enter a conscious process that begins with understanding our personality type, our needs and our attachment patterns. In addition, we need to be in a relationship with another person with which we have a secure bond, to create the new pattern. It cannot be done in a vacuum or as an intellectual exercise. Relationship repatterning requires a mentor, coach, psychotherapist to facilitate the new brain patterns development.