PERSONAL GROWTH
Striving in the New Year
My husband and I have a long time practice each January to set our goals for the year. Our goals are not resolutions; they are guideposts for where we want to direct our energy. We break our goals down into physical, emotional, social, relationship, familial, recreation, spiritual and educational goals. Our goals also have activities associated with the achievement of the goals and we identify emotional barriers to staying on the course we want to.
Our biggest barrier, like most people, is to do things we don’t “feel” like doing. Given that our emotions provide the fuel required for achieving our desired outcomes, we have to be aware of how we feel at all times. Otherwise, emotions will hijack us and take us off course.
Most of us believe that all we have to do is be logical about our goals and we will achieve them. I hear clients say all the time “I just need to get back on track”, “I need to be more disciplined” or “I need to smarten up”. None of these statements are useful when our emotional brain (I feel like vegging) and rational brain (I want to exercise 3 times a week) have different agendas!
We are so proficient at rationalizing our emotions that we convince ourselves that what we tell ourselves is true. For example, “I am too busy” or “I have to take care of the children” or “I had a bad day at work” all sound like good reasons not to exercise. The truth is that either it is easier not to, or we just don’t feel like it. As we are pleasure-seeking beings, why would we want to do things we don’t feel like as opposed to doing things that require focused attention? “Just doing it” without thinking about whether we like it or don’t like it, requires much less energy than having to make up stories about why we don’t honour our commitments to ourselves.
I don’t resolve to do anything different in the New Year. I do however, continue to practice mindfulness daily with the intention of strengthening my ability to be in the present moment, observing the thoughts and feelings that kick in when I try to change a habit or do something my mind tells me I don’t feel like.
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